He Self-control It is vital to achieve goals, have healthy personal relationships and generally be happy. People who have good self-control tend to be more popular and more successful in several areas of life.
However, those with low self-control are at risk of overeating, falling into addictions or showing poor performance.
Unfortunately, as we all know, Self-control sometimes fails And part of the problem is that we overestimate our ability to resist temptation.
The good news is that you can Learn to control your emotions It's like you're working a muscle. You just need to do the right kind of mental exercises.
What is self-control?
Self-control is the ability to regulate emotions, thoughts and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. As an executive function, it is a cognitive process that is necessary to regulate behavior and achieve specific goals.
Self-control separates us from our ancient ancestors and other animals, thanks to our large prefrontal cortex. It is the ability to subdue our impulses to achieve long-term goals.
Instead of responding to immediate impulses, we can plan, evaluate alternative actions, and often avoid doing things that we will later regret. The ability to exercise self-control is typically called willpower.
Self-control is like a muscle. According to numerous studies, it is a limited resource that functions as energy.
If a person tries to self-control too much, he will feel exhausted mentally. For example, if someone wants to stop smoking, he will be expending energy to avoid temptation.
It is one of the reasons why someone can"fall into temptation"more easily when they feel exhausted or stressed out. However, you can work and improve to spend less energy in the long run.
Here I leave you 10 Self-control techniques Emotional development for children and adults who will improve based on scientific research.
Self-control strategies for children and adults
1. Recognize when you have low energy
Research has shown that self-control is a Unlimited resource . Exercising it has clear psychological and physiological effects, such as lower glucose levels.
At any time we have a" limit "Of self-control. When you have been self-controlling, you have expended energy and you are more likely to fall into temptation. Psychologists call this the" Ego exhaustion ".
Recognize when your self-control levels are low and make sure you avoid temptation during those times. The first step to having great self-control is knowing when you feel less energetic.
2. Establish a commitment
Make a decision before tempting the temptation. C Omprometerte to achieve difficult goals Can lead you to achieve great performance. In a study of Ariely and Wertenbroch (2002) , Students who imposed themselves strict time limits to finish tasks, obtained better performance than those who were set no limit.
It is difficult to compromise because we normally like to leave our options open. But if you are hard on yourself, you will not regret it.
Examples of commitments:
-Put you time limits to finish tasks.
-Exceed with a limited amount of money.
-Only having healthy food at home to avoid the temptation to eat sweets or fatty foods.
3. Uses rewards
The Rewards can work to strengthen self-control . Trope and Fishbach (2000) Found that participants in a study were able to make short-term sacrifices in exchange for long-term gains when they had in mind a reward they would give themselves. Therefore, putting ourselves rewards works.
4. Uses punishments
Not only should we promise a reward for good behavior, but also A punishment for the bad . When Trope and Fishbach (2000) Assessed the self-imposed punishments of the participants, found that the threat of punishment encouraged them to achieve long-term goals.
Punishments must be something that really bothers us. If you have broken your commitment to smoke and you like to go out in the afternoon to walk, you could put the punishment of not going out for a week.
5. Fight the unconscious
Part of the reason we fall easily into temptation is that our unconscious is always ready to undermine our best intentions. Fishbach et al. (2003) Found that participants in their study were easily tempted outside their conscious boundaries.
Try to stay out of the temptations - physical and mental - and stay close to the things that promote your goals.
6. Adjusts expectations
Even if it is not naturally, Try to be optimistic about your ability to avoid temptation .
Studies such as the Zhang and Fishbach (2010) , Suggest that being optimistic about the ability to avoid temptations and achieve goals can be beneficial.
Allow yourself to overestimate your ability to achieve your goal, to the extent that you do not fall into fantasy and do not stop applying other techniques of self-control.
7. Adjust your values
Just as you can try to think more optimistically, you can also Change how you value goals and temptations . Research suggests that devaluing temptations and increasing target value improves performance ( Fishbach et al. , 2009 ).
When you value your goals more, you will automatically target them. In the same way, devaluing temptations will help you to avoid them automatically.
8. Use your emotions
Emotions often control reason, therefore Use your emotions to increase self-control .
In a study of ( Mischel & Baker, 1975 ), The participating children were able to resist eating marshmallows by thinking of them as white clouds.
You can increase motivation towards your goal in the same way; Think about the positive emotional aspects of getting it; Excitement, well-being, pride...
9. Use self-affirmations
Sometimes exercising self-control means avoiding a bad habit. One way to do this is by using self-affirmations; Reaffirm the core values in which you believe; Could be family, work, loyalty... as long as it is a core value of you.
When study participants did this, their self-control was replenished. Thinking about your core values can help you regain your self-control when it has diminished.
10. Think abstractly
Part of the reason why self-statements work is that they make us think in the abstract and it has been shown that abstract thinking improves self-control.
In a study ( Fujita et al., 2006) They found that people who thought in the abstract were more likely to avoid temptation and be more able to persist in more difficult tasks.
We are more able to think abstractly if we think about the motives of doing something, rather than just thinking about how we do it.
And one last reason to avoid temptation...
There are people who think that by falling into temptation only once, they will return with more energy to self-control and never fall again. For example: that by smoking a cigarette nothing happens and that after the we will be more willing to leave it permanently.
However, research in psychology has shown that this is not true. In a study ( Fishbach et al., 2010 ), Students who had a good break to"recharge"did not show more motivation to return.
If all else fails, you must be aware that falling into temptation and surrendering will not make you stronger; Even worse, will increase your tendency to fall back into the future.