The Emotional, psychological or personal maturity Encompasses all the psychological, emotional, social and behavioral aspects of a person. An emotionally mature person is someone with emotional intelligence, social skills, empathy, responsibility, and life experiences.
A person with emotional immaturity would therefore be someone with little emotional intelligence, few social skills, irresponsible, and few life experiences.
The concept of emotional maturity that refers to the development of the ability to accept reality in an adaptive way, may be relatively independent of age.
Although children tend to have less capacity and less need to have emotional maturity, once adulthood is reached, this Quality is not simply gained through the passage of time.
Emotional maturity is developed by the person through their functioning, experiences, their way of seeing and interpreting the world and the efforts that it dedicates in promoting Their emotional abilities and their personal growth.
How is a person with emotional maturity?
An emotionally mature person would be one who has developed in his thinking and behavior a series of attitudes that make him Overcome"infantilism"and apply them both to his person and to the environment.
This fact indicates that emotional maturity is not innate, that is, no one is born mature, so maturity is not something that is achieved Or is not achieved, but something that develops or does not develop.
This shows that there are a large number of factors involved in the development of emotional maturity.
The principal is undoubtedly the personality of the individual, that is, the way the person has to function and relate to the world.
The first requirement to develop emotional maturity is to possess a high knowledge about oneself, to know one's own personality, as well How to be aware of the ways of thinking and ways of reacting and behaving that we have.
People can never show emotional maturity in the face of external situations if we do not know how to apply ourselves first.
The second factor of high importance in the development of emotional maturity is found in the relationships that the person has with his environment.
A person can know himself a lot, know how he thinks, how it works and what emotional reactions he has, however, it will not serve this purpose Personal development if he fails to apply it to his relationship with others and the different elements that make up the environment in which he develops.
By way of summary, we can define an emotionally mature person as one who knows well his / her way of being, and is able to Internal characteristics with the relation that establishes with the external objects.
Personality traits of people with emotional maturity
Likewise, emotional maturity may imply other more specific personality traits such as the following:
The person has a developed identity, knows who he is and tries to be faithful to himself, To their values , Beliefs Y Attitudes , And behave Agreement.
He knows how to distinguish between reason and emotion and, when he wishes, he is able to choose rational methods of functioning instead of being dominated by Their emotions.
Have realistic goals and objectives in your life, plan and carry out the necessary actions to achieve those goals in a way Structured and streamlined.
They are independent and Assertive , Are able to recognize their flaws and mistakes, as well as their abilities and skills.
They tend to establish relationships of equal to equal, without the need to create categories that delimit their personal relationships.
They are able to control the effect that things make them. Their emotional reactions are not directly subject to external stimuli, But to the internal work done on them.
Now we know what the development of emotional maturity consists of, and what kind of characteristics are acquired when it is achieved.
But as we have said before, this development does not appear in people by magic.
A person does not reach emotional maturity if he waits patiently for it to appear through the years.
Emotional maturity must be developed consciously, investing effort and dedication in oneself, and working in internal aspects, in the Way of being and how to function.
How to develop your emotional maturity? 10 tips
1- Pay attention
As we have been discussing, the first step to begin to develop emotional maturity is to acquire awareness and knowledge about oneself.
People tend to live with autopilot. We have a way of being and working but we validate it automatically and the We exercise without stopping to think how it is.
To function in this way is the easiest and easiest, since acquiring knowledge about ourselves does not usually provide any direct benefit.
However, this way of functioning is also what prevents us from growing emotionally.
Normally, pay attention and analyze how we are, how we think, how we act, why we do so, what skills we have and what defects we have Is often complicated, since it involves looking at things of ourselves that we might prefer to change.
However, if you want to reach emotional maturity you must do this exercise, know well how you are and accept without resentment the characteristics That you least like about yourself and that you must work to change them.
2- Learn to elaborate your feelings
Another very important aspect to achieve emotional maturity is to learn to elaborate feelings.
All people have feelings, many and diverse, but often we prefer not to pay too much attention as they can be annoying or too Intense
However, if we do not learn to elaborate the feelings that we are going through throughout life, we will be making a backpack that we will carry in Our back and it will become heavier.
So, when you experience certain feelings, let them come out, give yourself the time to get to know them in depth and invest effort To be able to elaborate and adapt them in your interior.
3- Analyze your emotional reaction
People have emotional reactions in a constant and inevitable way during our lives.
When something happens, our body reacts with an emotional response, which can not be avoided or avoided.
Now, it is important that we learn to modulate our emotional reactions so that they are as appropriate as possible.
In order to do this it is important that you pay attention to the emotional reactions you have to different situations and analyze if they really are Being suitable or not.
If they are and the degree of discomfort they provoke you is adapted to the reality of the perfect situation.
However, if the emotional reaction is not appropriate to the reality of the situation, ie, it is higher than it should or could be more adapted, It is important that you strive to acquire a more adaptive emotional reaction.
4- Analyze your behavioral reaction
The next step after an emotion is a behavior, or at least this is what the body asks us whenever it reacts emotionally.
However, if after an emotional reaction we always perform a behavior governed by emotion, our emotional growth will be seen in Interdicted.
People have the power to think and reason, which is fundamental for proper functioning and adaptation in our environment.
However, when an emotion appears our primary instincts urge us to heed the emotional reaction and to eliminate the appearance of the reasoning.
So, analyze your behavior when you react to any situation that causes you some emotion.
The objective is that before emotional reactions you can introduce the reason to choose in a less impulsive way behavior.
5- Train the appearance of reason
As we have seen in the previous point, the appearance of reason at all times is of vital importance in order to function properly.
However, we already know that in emotionally intense moments the appearance of reason is often difficult, and emotion usually has everything for Win the match.
So, to reach emotional maturity, we have to learn to make use of reason even in those more emotional moments.
If we succeed in doing so, we will have greater options to achieve appropriate behavior that is in keeping with our way of being, with our Way of thinking and with our values and principles, rather than with our emotional reaction.
To achieve this, it is important that you learn to properly identify your emotions every time they appear, and give yourself some time before you act.
You have to take advantage of that time so that your thought enters into action and can modulate your emotional reaction and your subsequent behavior.
6. Empatiently
The 5 previous tips were aimed at gaining a greater personal knowledge and learning to manage the different answers that can have a Individual: feelings, emotions, behaviors and thoughts.
However, emotional maturity does not remain in oneself, but must extend to the relationship that is possessed with other people and the environment.
In this sense, the first exercise that must be learned frequently is to apply Empathy .
In order to reach emotional maturity you must know how to empathize with others, know how they feel, know their reality and be able to act in harmony with All this information.
To do this, it is important that you systematically practice the mental exercise of"How would I feel if I were in its place?"
If you ask this question regularly and try to imagine how you would feel if you were in the other person's place, you will see empathy Will appear instantly.
Empathy is a basic skill for learning to relate well to others and develop emotionally mature behaviors.
7- Acquire wider views
Closely related to the concept of empathizing is the ability to acquire a broader view of things.
People tend to observe things in a way and give absolute validity to that thought.
However, this way of working usually leads to error, since it allows us to see only the tip of the iceberg.
For this to not happen, it is important that you perform the mental exercise of posing different points of view about things and values each of they.
In doing so, your vision will become broader and have a greater capacity for analysis.
8- Analyze your needs properly
Often people let us be guided by our most immediate needs and it is difficult for us to take into account those that are more long term.
However, being able to carry out an adequate analysis of personal needs is one of the keys to being able to function in a beneficial way for one same.
Learning to analyze life from a global point of view and not from a focused point of view is of vital importance in developing maturity emotional.
If you can analyze yourself, your life, your environment and your needs from a broad point of view you will have more resources to choose Properly your actions and live in harmony with your way of being, your values and your moral principles.
Keep in mind what are your long-term goals, what things you propose as a person and what behavior you want to be part of your way of being.
9- Develops assertiveness
He Assertive communication style Is the most affective and the best results and well-being will give you in your life.
It is based on communicating in a way that respects your rights but also respects that of other people.
10- Develop your self-esteem and accept yourself
The self-esteem Is possibly what will give you more happiness in your life. Without positive self-esteem you can not relate to others or achieve the goals you set yourself.
References
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Ogden, J. (2007). Essential readings in health psychology. Berkshire, UK: Open University Press.
Seligman, M.E.P. (1995). I can not be taller, but I can be better. Barcelona: Grijalbo.
Sherif, M.:"A study of some social factors in perception", Arch. Psychol., 1935, No. 187.