In the XXI century, we are facing the era of loneliness. Each time the relationships are less close and we usually share less things with other people . It is evident that society is changing and with it our way of relating to each other. According to a recent survey in U.S , more than half of the inhabitants of this country qualify as loners. And we no longer talk about talking to strangers in public spaces. That can even be called strange behavior.
Well, in today's article we want to encourage you to put aside this antisocial habit. We are sure that your emotional well-being and even your happiness will increase if you start talking to strangers. You do not believe it? We give you some data.
Why should you talk to strangers?
Recently a study was carried out on talking to strangers with a group of people who traveled daily to Chicago by train. They were asked for three actions to carry out during their train journey; they should try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, actively avoid contact with other people, or behave naturally, as they normally did. Then they sent the researchers a questionnaire to evaluate the experience.
These responses were compared with the answers given by a second group of people who were asked to just imagine that they were engaging in a conversation with a stranger, avoiding other people or traveling in a normal way.
The results showed that those travelers who had conversed with strangers in a real way had reported having a much more pleasant trip . However, those who had only imagined it, had described the experience as uncomfortable.
"This pattern of results demonstrates a serious lack of understanding of the psychological consequences of social commitment"
write Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder. In fact, the data are very significant considering the environment as well, since it has been demonstrated that daily commuting is one of the worst scenarios for social relations.
Why do we usually choose to be alone?
Maybe we can think that we chose to be antisocial and not talking to strangers because of the memory of a bad encounter with a stranger, although that is not usually the real reason.
As part of the study, researchers asked travelers who participated in it to imagine a positive conversation, a negative conversation and simply "a conversation" with a stranger. The travelers did not imagine the latter as especially negative.
Researchers have another hypothesis to explain why we choose not to talk to strangers on our journeys. They believe that it is because fear of rejection . They are based on responses from respondents who reported that they were interested in talking to strangers, but did not think it was reciprocal. If they had to assess the possibilities of engaging in a conversation, the statistics read 50 to 50.
All those people who were worried about talking to strangers were the least talked people . Investigators asked people from the taxi station at Midway Airport. Those who normally used to talk to taxi drivers, predicted that it would be fun to do so. On the contrary, those people who did not speak with taxi drivers believed that the experience would be very negative, even worse than loneliness, but when they tried, they were pleasantly surprised. In short, the more you practice the exercise of talking to strangers, the less fear you will have to do it and the more fun it will be for you.
In these moments you will be asking yourself: What about what my mother has told me all my life about "do not talk to strangers"? Are there real dangers when talking to strangers? Actually, The only problem recognized by the researchers who conducted the study was social rejection, although we recognize that other dangers may exist. What can start with a friendly approach to an unknown person, can end up drifting towards harassment or, especially and unfortunately in the case of women, to a much more hostile territory. In these cases you must pay attention to your instinct and common sense.
It is also important to know decipher body language . If you have the slightest feeling that something is not right or your instinct tells you that the situation is uncomfortable go away. You do not have to force anything, let alone a conversation with someone you do not know. If someone does not make you feel comfortable, think that the world is full of strangers with whom you can enter into conversations and, who knows, some can become friendship.
What do you think about talking to strangers? Have you ever practiced it? Surely it is something much simpler for extroverted people than for introverted people. What group are you from? Do you consider yourself an open person? Tell us how you usually react to a stranger. We will be happy to read your comments!